~ P stands for Peng ~

Happy Deepavali and Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri! :D

This week is a week filled with public holidays, with tomorrow for celebration of Deepavali for our Hindus and Thursday for celebratin of Hari Raya for our Muslims! That's what I love about Singapore, we are a country with many races and we can all live in harmony together. I, myself, have a lot of hindu and muslim friends. Especially in my previous office, we used to celebrate these festivals together whereby we would gather and visit a colleague's house and have a makan session and chat. Those were such happy times.. And I missed them all.. :cry:

After watching a chinese serial from SCV just a while ago, I learnt from a nun (the serial is those pugilistic drama with flying fighting and magical powers - a lot of warriors, monks, nuns and demoness), and yes, a nun indeed(!), that hatred will only cause yourself pain. Those were her last words before she died in that show. She also said to treat others with benevolence and with kind thoughts. After listening to those last words, I think what she said is right. It's very tired, sad and painful to hate a person. I rather forgive than be angry with that person for long. Which is why I have learnt to let go once again about the laments I've poured out here. When I first learned of this matter, I am angry. But after talking to myself and to my friends helped, and I've learnt that not every things that happen in life, we must hang on to it tightly. Only those happy memories that are worth remembering are those memories which we should cherish and hold on tighter.

We humans should not live in hatred forever. And really, trust me, hatred and jealousy these 2 words, can make you do a lot of nasty things. Things you might regret later in life. So, my friends out there, remember that hatred is not a solution to problems. Rather, like ah ling said --- Face each day with happy thoughts and fill yourself with happiness. You might be able to see things in a different light.

Having part 2 is to separate my feelings from part 1.

Because now I'll be talking about happy things! First up, the photos I've taken for mummy's birthday dinner is uploaded and displayed right below..:

Setting up table..

Mummy busy busy..

And the food came!! yummy..

Along with my favourite chicken wings! Ahh..

Homemade "Bak Kut Teh" by my mummy..

Momo kaypoh-ing around..

And everyone started eating.. my sister feeding bro-in-law, jason.. so loving..

While momo pacing around, wondering got any side snacks for her or not..

And everybody relaxing at the sofa after a full dinner for tv and small chats..

Mummy giving "victory" sign for the wonderful celebration.. muaks!!

Last Saturday, a fever night at Partyworld again with my ex-colleagues. We are truly a funk and full of fun gang! Just look at the photos! With them around, there are sure to be fun and laughter, when I'm with them, my smile and laughter is on 100%! Gee.. :D

Me and Mynn san!

Me and Yvonne!

And the party starts rolling..!

Stripper driven to a corner.. hiaks hiaks..

Photo with the stripper and baka.. haa..

Me and Mynn san again.. hee..

I'm hungry.. for legs!! muahahaa.. (mynn san's leg)

Loving couple No. 1.. Eric and Mynn san

Loving couple No. 2.. Eileen and Eric

Loving couple No. 3..! Elvin & wife

The group of ladies.. (L-R) Elvin's wife, Eileen, Mynn, Wendy, Kris, Me and Yvonne

The more mature gang.. (L-R) Yee, Edmund, Elvin & Wife

Beer, anyone?

Oh, poor baby.. cheers lah!!

Gan.. bei..!!

And the party goes on rolling..

But Eric can't make it anymore.. Zzz..

While the other Eric continues to mambo..

And Wendy is crowned our Superstar!! Yeah!! *applause*

And we ended the fun and laughter at Jurong East's 24 hours coffeeshop with Teochew porridge before going home in individual vehicles.. Till we meet again, pals..

It's been a long time since I've blogged. I have been very, very busy. And lack of sleep! Last week, I've handed in 1 project (which consists of 6 person in a group) and 1 tutorial (5 person a group), where all had been done by me ALONE. Man, how I slogged, sleeping at 1 to 2 am everyday till Thursday when I hand in the tutorial. For the effort, I got a "Good" for that tutorial which got our group a pack of chocolates given by the lecturer! How cute of him! Hee..

Anyway, I have to complain about "this" matter this time. Only last Thursday did I realise how stupid I am. I volunteered to do the project and tutorial, thinking that A and B will be helping C for another project which is due on Thursday also. But when I approach C about the project, she told me she's doing it herself also! So that means A and B have been doing nothing all along! Which makes both me and C like idiots because C thought A and B are helping me with my project. Woah, talking about making use of each other, this is actually worse, because A and B actually lied to me about finishing the project when I enquired during dinner.

To think they actually wanted to claim credit for something they had not done! I'm absolutely fed up with their actions and doings. To think they are the one who told me to do some "soul searching" and what with "their conscious is clear" thingy..

All BULLSHIT! I seriously believe that they should be the one doing some self-reflection on themselves. Don't keep thinking that the world owe them. They have not been through hard life before, they don't know the pain of sufferings, they don't have to worry about money and bills and school fees, so they think they are the greatest in the world, invincible, "nothing cannot be solved" attitude and thinking they are the best in the world.

I am right in saying they behave like lesbians, because once again, they have proved themselves to everyone that they are. Through their actions and behaviour. Through their giggles and carrying bags for one another and taking handphones for  one another. All that I've said about them, I never regret saying it. Because I know I am right.

I know without anything concrete or with no blowing wind, the leaves would not move. I saw it with my own eyes and I am right in saying them. With A's stupid regular messages about "I don't know what to think about our friendship anymore, is it real or is it fake?" Of course it's real if you believe in 3 of us, and only a pathetic person will think a friendship is fake, even after 3 years of spending time together! I shall not comment on how few friends A have (maybe she thought all her friends are fake), or how easily influenced is B (she may be influenced by A about our friendship is fake afterall).

Urgghh... To think I actually apologised to them so many times! Thinking back, I really am a weakling and a chicken. My mum is right, should have just confronted them at that point of time and give them a piece of my mind, and leave them to be "loving and caring" and discussing what a crazy person I am. But at that point of time, I just wanna spend the rest of my 4th year in school peacefully and graduate. At that point of time, I thought we 3 can be normal friends again.

But now I dun care anymore. Let them think what they want. If they are truly my friends, they should have patched up with me and proved to me that they are not lesbians and they don't behave like one. Who cares about the classmates also? What happen between us, we don't have to account for other people. Both of them are just plain guilty, that's why they vent their anger on me for no good reason again. What with their 2 options, either "Tell the classmates we 3 are through" or "Talk it out and settle the problem once and for all". WTF!! (Sorry, first time using this 3 words, and I strongly felt I have to use them!) I am the crazy girl who kept on apologising and messaging them to forgive me, and both of them messaged angrily back that "I did not give them enough time to think it through" and "Me and my philosophy, I only hear what I wanna hear, I only reply what I want"?! Now classmates start asking them questions, they wanted to solve the problem suddenly? They suddenly have "enough time" to think through?!

Really, the kind of people that exist in this world. I really see through so called "real" friends and "fake" friends. Yah, so it's true I insulted both of you behave like lesbians and that both of you protect one another really well. Now you both really proved what I have said. I'm sorry for hurling the words at both of you, but I'm not apologetic at all and don't regret one bit that I said you both behave like lesbians. Because you both are! And right in front of all the eyes of the classmates!

I hope you both live happily ever after in both of your imaginary little world, with perfect "friendship" you both adopted. I'm glad I escaped early. If not, I shall be A's puppet forever. Even though now I have to do all the assignments myself, at least I know I'm happy. I know I am free at last again. Good luck to you, B. Sorry I can't protect you from being A's puppet anymore. You shall forever be stuck with her since you will never learn to be independant. I actually sympathise you.

Whew.... That's it. I've finally vent all the anger I felt for the past few months out. I don't care what other people think now. They may think I'm an outcast, I'm a wierdo, I'm a detestable person, I don't care about all these anymore. What I do now, I wanna be happy about it and I wanna be who I am again. Nobody can stop me from doing anything I like and want. What I do is for myself. I don't have to report to anyone about how I live my life. People's comments, especially both of theirs, I no longer heck care. Because I live my own life, and nobody can stop me from living it. Me and my philosophies, I LOVE THEM!

So.. enough about both of them. They only take up space in my blog! I got a whole wonderful life ahead of me! Time to catch up. With both of them gone in my life, I actually realised that I have a lot of other friendly classmates in my class. During breaks, I will be having nice chats with my other classmates, and they actually sound more real to me.

My grand-aunt's youngest son, my uncle, has his wedding dinner last night at Hotel Rendezvous Ballroom. My grandaunt is the happiest person in the world because her youngest son has settled down at last. Their opening entrance song where the bride and bridegroom enter into the ballroom was by Shania Twain's From This Moment. And the waiters and waitress will pour water into nitrogen ice to create the smokey effect. Indeed, a girl is prettiest at her own wedding. The souvenir is a keychain with a bride and bridegroom side by side. So unique and cute. Hee..

Congratulations to YC and Grace!! :P

Went to an interview yesterday at Tanjong Pagar. The manager offered me the position immediately and even wanted me to sign the appointment letter on the spot. I told him calmly I need to go back and consider the offer, due to my many commitments. It's a very tempting offer, as the offered salary is very much higher than my current one! But in the end, I decided to decline their generous offer, because I don't think I can manage my studies together with a new job.

This job is a manager post, and the responsibility I'm going to carry will be greater than my current executive post. So I called the manager and gently decline their offer.

But the manager called me back in the evening again to ask me to re-consider again! Urgghhh.. He wanted to increase on my allowances as compensation. Oh my, oh my. I really don't know I got such potential leh! Maybe because they need people urgently and my current exposure of high secured premises is a leap advantage among other candidates, that's why they can offer higher pay to me.

But after a night's thinking and a chat with my sister, I decided to decline them again. Don't think it's fair to the company also, because I know I cannot put 100% of my attention on work as my studies is still on top priority now. Some friends thought I'm right in my decision, some wonder why I dun go for it because there won't be 2nd chance. I personally felt I should not let down my own principle lor..

--- With more money comes greater responsibility. This is so true.

Anybody watching The Apprentice on Channel 5, every sunday 10pm? Even though I'm not from the business or investment trade, this show really gives me a lot of inspirations and lessons to learn. Not that I will ever become a entrepreneur, I felt that from the way Donald Trump chooses his prospective employee, he really think far, far ahead. I think I'm only suitable to think far ahead on my holiday trips after my graduation and how to work overseas in China or Dubai one day. To start a business on my own(?), eh, better think twice, cos one of my personality is "not enough perserverence". Haha..

From what I gathered from the show so far (I've watched 2 seasons already), I've learnt that chances are given by people, but you also must learn to grab hold of the opportunity. Also, people do make mistakes, but you should be courageous enough to admit it and learn from your mistakes. In this way, you can be a better person.

In a way, you are what you want to be and nobody can teach you how to lead your own life. If you have choosen a particular path for yourself, remember there's no turning back. Yeah.

The owner of the building I'm in charge now will always ask me and my manager: "Any latest gossips?" whenever he enters the office. Almost everyday he will ask, monday to friday, breaks will be when he's on leave. Haha.. My manager and I will reply him if there's any latest happenings going on in the building, other than that, we will keep the real gossips ourselves! Hehe..

The building owner is really a capable chap. He's only 30 years old but his position is already so high up in the top management, just below the director in that department. He drives a sports car and he's living in a condominium. Not to forget the most important thing - he looks quite cute - though he can be a bit of a playboy. There's always a flaw in everyone! But I can say he's quite faithful lah, cos he has a steady girlfriend for many years. So far, their relationship is quite steady.

He treated our team very well, always giving us a lot of support, plus he will teach me a lot of technical things and the way we should lead our life. In a way, he's quite wise, though sometimes he can be quite childish in his actions. A good person for me to investigate and study on on human behaviours. Hee..

Next on, it's my manager, ah lim. He's the most considerate manager I ever have! Next to Mr Png (my HDB manager), he's the next one I really respect. He's always patient with me and Ishak, always guiding us the correct path and way to get things done, and giving us sound advices whenever we need help. He's also my best teacher cos I will always pester him to vet my assignments and giving me comments on other private issues. I can say we clicked really well. He liked to say we 3 are a great team, cos he got the ideas, I can produce it out for him (cos I'm good at computer software), and Ishak has all the technical experiences. Hee.. Really cherish this team, really can't bear to leave them next year after I graduate leh..

Okie lah, end of gossips! :D

Now I'm still rushing to finish my 3 assignments, I have not touched my dissertation yet leh! Plus I'm having migraines again, this time is left side. When you have migraines, you cannot think of anything cos your head will be thumping thumping, extremely disturbing.. Die die die.. My supervisor must have given up hope on me, so I must really gather up my strength and determination to produce something soon. Jia you, jia you!!

Last night, my sister and bro-in-law, jason, came home to celebrate my mum's belated birthday together. They brought momo along. Momo is a sweet and bubbly malteese who is 3+ years old now. She's only 2 months when my sister brought her home. So cute and tiny! I remembered I visited my sister the 2nd day she brought momo.. Momo will slipped on the floor cos the floor tiles are slippery and being a puppy, she lose balance easily. Such a cute sight to see leh! Hehe.. :P

Mum cooked bak-tuh-teh (very nice!!) while sister bought chilli crabs, pepper crabs, steamed prawns and fried chicken wings (my favourite!). We had a simple dinner with many small chats and watching the tv. This is what I will call "tian lun zhi le" bah, where the whole family is sitting happily together and update each other on life. Because our family had went through a lot together, including jason's side, that's why we would cherish these gatherings a lot more. Where everyone will be bonded together and enjoy the feeling of having family memebers around. If you have a perfect family with perfect and peaceful life with many relatives around you, you might not understand what I'm conveying. Cos family is not to be taken for granted.

I've taken some photos last night, shall update as soon as I've uploaded into the computer. Hee.. :o

Last night, I had a very long talk with my classmates. Guess my close friends knew my depression actually came from both of them. It's all my fault, I've insulted them and they naturally became angry with me. We used to be so close together, can laugh and joke together. I guess now things are different. Even though we may be on talking terms again, the atmosphere is still tensed, and we can never be like before. They told me I should have done something sooner, to salvage the whole situation, but I guess I just do not know what to do anymore.

I've apologised sincerely and profusely but when they don't reply, I felt there's nothing more I can do, cos in my opinion, I do not wan to force them against their will anymore. But their thinking is I should have initiate a discussion and try to solve this issue asap. I guess different people has different approach to solving problems. I prefer to let the parties cool down first before making another step. Maybe my thinking is wrong in the first place? Guess only time can tell. Anyway, a long lecture has been given and this shall serve as a lesson for me. We shall see how it goes from now on..

Also, I've asked my friend whether is there really such a thing as so called fake friendship and real friendship? She replied to me that fake friendship is those friends who run away when you are in trouble and real friendship is those friends who stood by you through thick and thin. Unfortunately, she told me there is such kind of friendships existing in this world.

Actually I'm a bit shocked, cos all along, I've treated everybody as a friend, only difference is whether I can click with the person more or not. Eventually, sad things are normally more difficult to digest. I will slowly digest all these into my mind. What a sad world this universe has become.. No wonder people commit suicide in this world, though it's the dumbest thing to do. And don't worry, I'm not those who will think of suicidal thoughts, just some thinking thoughts swimming in my mind.

It's gonna be a hard weekend for me, cos a lot of things I need to think through, plus 4 assignments including my dissertation to do. Hai.. What a happening week, man. Hope next week will be a better week for me, if not, I might jus break down again. Sianzz.. I'm such a weak person, no guts, my mum say I'm a weakling.. Haha.. :D

It started raining at my side now.. Raining dampens everyone's spirit down cos it cast an infinite & invisible shade of grey.. As the temperature in the environment gradually drops, the air starts to become chiller also. I hope the rainy clouds can go away and bring back the sunshine soon.

Went to have dinner with ah joy at IKEA just now. Had sambal fish rice while she ordered Swedish meatballs (yum yum.. can see but cannot eat cos it consist of beef in it). The most favorite food i like is still the chicken wings! Haha.. Now still can feel the taste inside my mouth (eh, just joking).. Haha..

After makan, we walked to ah ling's house to view her new flat as well as get-together (3 of us seldom get to meet). She had just shifted house cos her old flat is on SERS (meaning brought over by HDB for redevelopment). She upgraded to 4-room flat with a nice night view and cool breezes coming in. But the most wonderful place in the house is still her bedroom! :shock:

Simply exotic cum cosy.. Red wallpaper with gold prints, the room exerts a mysterious lull, calm and serene feeling as well as sensuality effect given out by the warm white lightings on the wall. I just love her lightings, especially the one with 3 hanging rows of crystal, simple and grand. The other lamp with 2 bulbs has a reflection of 5 bulbs when you see it using the window (prism effect). The scenery outside is more than words can describe. You just see a whole stretch of lightings encompasing the night from streetlamps, vehicles, buildings and infrastructure.

I saw tarot cards and oracle cards in her room. Really liked the magical unicorn oracle cards which I'm thinking of buying after I get my pay this week. Hehe.. :o

We had an oracle reading on me with regards when I can find a boyfriend, and a tarot reading on ah joy (I'm gonna keep it a secret for her, sssshh..). My readings seems to imply that I still had some unfinished business to settle before I can really start seeking for my other half. Though the readings are not really applicable to my question, it does relate a lot with what has been happening to me lately. Guess it's telling me it's time to let go and settle down.

So most of the time, 3 of us just chat. About almost anything and everything under the sky. It's really great to meet up with both of them. Been a long time since we had such long chats. Really missed those teenager times when we can just wild our days away and be just normal childish little girls. Hehe.. I've realised that time really, really, really flies quickly, and so it's really important to cherish and treasure the times spent together.

Some more both of them are my close friends and the best of buddies. People I will cherish forever. Yeh. :wink:

Today is my mummy's birthday..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MUMMY!!!!!!!

("mei mei" picture of my mummy..)

Dearest mummy,
You are always beside me, giving me love and care, without you around, my world will collapse. You are the bravest woman in the world, cos you've been taking care of 3 little imps single-handedly and& nbsp;selflessly for all these years, without asking for any returns. In each and every coming days, I will always treasure you, love you, respect you and wishing you will stay healthy and happy always! Loving you always and forever..
-Peng

Hoho.. This blog space is just great for me! Now I really can write whatever I like to say! :P

Hmm.. I've just added some links on the left, wanna describe them briefly (based on my own views):

~ Meimei - My dear meimei, a gal with inspirational thoughts, a good friend always supporting me..

~ Kucinta - My long time web-friend, been following her entries for nearly 7 years (roughly?), introduced a lot of tasty food, she eats a lot but still look so slim!

~ Catherine - Ms Cat has a lot of wonderful designs & ideas, her lambies are all so cute! (but now cannot see inside her website liao)

~ Pei - Have been looking at her entries for a long long time, the things she wrote innovated me.

~ Saeran - Lived in the estate my ex-colleague looked after, an emotional & pretty gal..

~ Autumn - Loved her designs a lot especially her wonderful flashes! A lot of pictures to see too!

~ D W - Only guy here, I remembered vaguely I followed his posts for quite sometime in the past, a guy who writes uniquely (in my opinion lah)..

~ Siew - Ordered 2 zincs from her before when I'm still in gombak, a gal with unique designs and thinking thoughts.

~ Xiaxue - The new blog of the century! One of a kind worr!

Yeah yeah, like the green colour? Actually I like green colour a lot, especially four-leav es clover (which signify good luck).. So my blog is gonna be green always! Yeah. :o

note: liking the colour green does not mean a person is full of jealousy. It's just a matter of preference. hee..

Hehe.. At last I can have my own blog... I dun really like the idea of friendster sending an email to ALL my friends listed as an alert to ask them to view my blog. I'm not desperate asking for people to come and read wat's happening to me and my life. In fact, the idea of me blogging is to get some frustrations and stress out. Things I'm going to write might bother some people, so actually I would prefer to stay anonymous to everybody. In this way, I can really say what I wanted to say out without any worries or hold-backs.

So that's it. Stay tune for more digressions from me! Haha..