A recap of the past week..

It's been a long time since I've blogged. I have been very, very busy. And lack of sleep! Last week, I've handed in 1 project (which consists of 6 person in a group) and 1 tutorial (5 person a group), where all had been done by me ALONE. Man, how I slogged, sleeping at 1 to 2 am everyday till Thursday when I hand in the tutorial. For the effort, I got a "Good" for that tutorial which got our group a pack of chocolates given by the lecturer! How cute of him! Hee..

Anyway, I have to complain about "this" matter this time. Only last Thursday did I realise how stupid I am. I volunteered to do the project and tutorial, thinking that A and B will be helping C for another project which is due on Thursday also. But when I approach C about the project, she told me she's doing it herself also! So that means A and B have been doing nothing all along! Which makes both me and C like idiots because C thought A and B are helping me with my project. Woah, talking about making use of each other, this is actually worse, because A and B actually lied to me about finishing the project when I enquired during dinner.

To think they actually wanted to claim credit for something they had not done! I'm absolutely fed up with their actions and doings. To think they are the one who told me to do some "soul searching" and what with "their conscious is clear" thingy..

All BULLSHIT! I seriously believe that they should be the one doing some self-reflection on themselves. Don't keep thinking that the world owe them. They have not been through hard life before, they don't know the pain of sufferings, they don't have to worry about money and bills and school fees, so they think they are the greatest in the world, invincible, "nothing cannot be solved" attitude and thinking they are the best in the world.

I am right in saying they behave like lesbians, because once again, they have proved themselves to everyone that they are. Through their actions and behaviour. Through their giggles and carrying bags for one another and taking handphones for  one another. All that I've said about them, I never regret saying it. Because I know I am right.

I know without anything concrete or with no blowing wind, the leaves would not move. I saw it with my own eyes and I am right in saying them. With A's stupid regular messages about "I don't know what to think about our friendship anymore, is it real or is it fake?" Of course it's real if you believe in 3 of us, and only a pathetic person will think a friendship is fake, even after 3 years of spending time together! I shall not comment on how few friends A have (maybe she thought all her friends are fake), or how easily influenced is B (she may be influenced by A about our friendship is fake afterall).

Urgghh... To think I actually apologised to them so many times! Thinking back, I really am a weakling and a chicken. My mum is right, should have just confronted them at that point of time and give them a piece of my mind, and leave them to be "loving and caring" and discussing what a crazy person I am. But at that point of time, I just wanna spend the rest of my 4th year in school peacefully and graduate. At that point of time, I thought we 3 can be normal friends again.

But now I dun care anymore. Let them think what they want. If they are truly my friends, they should have patched up with me and proved to me that they are not lesbians and they don't behave like one. Who cares about the classmates also? What happen between us, we don't have to account for other people. Both of them are just plain guilty, that's why they vent their anger on me for no good reason again. What with their 2 options, either "Tell the classmates we 3 are through" or "Talk it out and settle the problem once and for all". WTF!! (Sorry, first time using this 3 words, and I strongly felt I have to use them!) I am the crazy girl who kept on apologising and messaging them to forgive me, and both of them messaged angrily back that "I did not give them enough time to think it through" and "Me and my philosophy, I only hear what I wanna hear, I only reply what I want"?! Now classmates start asking them questions, they wanted to solve the problem suddenly? They suddenly have "enough time" to think through?!

Really, the kind of people that exist in this world. I really see through so called "real" friends and "fake" friends. Yah, so it's true I insulted both of you behave like lesbians and that both of you protect one another really well. Now you both really proved what I have said. I'm sorry for hurling the words at both of you, but I'm not apologetic at all and don't regret one bit that I said you both behave like lesbians. Because you both are! And right in front of all the eyes of the classmates!

I hope you both live happily ever after in both of your imaginary little world, with perfect "friendship" you both adopted. I'm glad I escaped early. If not, I shall be A's puppet forever. Even though now I have to do all the assignments myself, at least I know I'm happy. I know I am free at last again. Good luck to you, B. Sorry I can't protect you from being A's puppet anymore. You shall forever be stuck with her since you will never learn to be independant. I actually sympathise you.

Whew.... That's it. I've finally vent all the anger I felt for the past few months out. I don't care what other people think now. They may think I'm an outcast, I'm a wierdo, I'm a detestable person, I don't care about all these anymore. What I do now, I wanna be happy about it and I wanna be who I am again. Nobody can stop me from doing anything I like and want. What I do is for myself. I don't have to report to anyone about how I live my life. People's comments, especially both of theirs, I no longer heck care. Because I live my own life, and nobody can stop me from living it. Me and my philosophies, I LOVE THEM!

So.. enough about both of them. They only take up space in my blog! I got a whole wonderful life ahead of me! Time to catch up. With both of them gone in my life, I actually realised that I have a lot of other friendly classmates in my class. During breaks, I will be having nice chats with my other classmates, and they actually sound more real to me.